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Loadstar 103
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pacific adv.scr
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2022-08-26
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"pacific tscn
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"P A C I F I C A D V E N T U R E
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"A Reminiscence by Walt Harned
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"My journey began with a hitched ride
"on a sampan out of Singapore. I had
"to share quarters with six chickens
"and a disgruntled warthog. I've
"never forgiven those chickens.
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"village
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"THE VILLAGE OF THE DARNED
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"Our first stop was the quaint village
"of Tofu. The chief welcomed me with
"open arms and invited me to share his
"hut with him and his five wives. I
"was able to escape a week later, but
"to this day cannot bear the sight of
"overripe mangoes.
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"gulls
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"PRETTY GULLS ALL IN A ROW
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"It was on the isle of Parkay that I
"began my lifelong feud with gulls.
"They are lovely, graceful sea birds
"who bring life to an azure sky, music
"to a still South Pacific evening, and
"a white, fetid crust to the pate of
"any human walking on the beach.
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"red
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"THE DAWN OF THE MALTESE PARROT
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"Ahab was the name I gave my pet
"parrot who constantly perched on my
"shoulder. I taught him to talk and
"he repaid me by telling Customs about
"the harmless contraband I had in my
"knapsack. Later, in jail, I found
"that he also had excellent taste.
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"dolphin
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"THE DAZE OF THE DOLPHIN
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"It was on the island of Spumoni that
"I linked up with a dolphin who taught
"me his language. He wanted to be
"taken to the Cetology Lab at Stanford
"but I told him he could have a larger
"influence on mankind if he went to
"Hollywood. I really liked Flipper.
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"turkeyfish
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"THE TIMES OF THE TURKEYFISH
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"I met Dr. Moreau on an island due
"south of Huzzanga. He was experi-
"menting with combining life forms and
"I, famished from my travels,
"suggested mixing ham and turkey. No
"pigs were available but now the reefs
"are covered with turkeyfish. Mmmmm.
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"hide
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"THE SEAL AND THE SHARK
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"I was scuba diving off Slikwili Atoll
"when I spied a seal hiding from a
"deadly Great White. Luckily Cap'n
"Quinn's boat distracted the shark and
"now the seal is fat and lazy, chasing
"balls for tourists at Seaworld.
"Cap'n Quinn is still into sharks.
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"iguana
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"THE EYE OF THE IGUANA
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"This is the first thing I saw after
"being washed up on the Gallopin'
"Ghost Islands. She sort of adopted
"me and kept me alive with flies and
"crabs. I never forgot her kindness
"and even now continue to get compli-
"ments on my stylish cowboy boots.
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"gods
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"THE GATHERING OF THE GODS
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"My journey almost at an end, I fasted
"for a week before asking these stone
"behemoths for advice on the future.
"'LOADSTAR' they said. Years later I
"heard that they made excellent gravel
"for the Easterplex Mall parking lot.
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"stranger
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"ONE OF MANY STRANGERS I MET
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"We took this old coot for a tourist
"at first, but his uncanny ability to
"tell if we'd been bad or good soon
"made him a favorite of the policias.
"Years later he was himself hauled
"into court on charges of sexual
"harassment of an elf.
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